http://decision-making-howto.com/resistance-to-change/ presents a slide on how to deal to dealt with resistance to change from our loved ones. If resistance is often internal, it can also come from the outside. In this article I would like to address the topic of outside resistance and how to deal with it, specially when that resistance comes form our loved ones.

1. decision-making-howto.com
presents
presents

2. When Our Loved Ones Don’t Want
Us to Change
3 steps to win them to your cause

3. Resistance from our
loved ones
• Relatives and friends do sometimes resist
your desire to change and they will try to
influence you into not doing so.

4. Resistance from our
loved ones
• First of all, it is important to realize that their
worries are mainly based on their personal
reading of your situation. They have their
beliefs and expectations about it, and they act
from that perspective.

5. Resistance from our
loved ones
• They often mean well and they are concerned
about your wellbeing.

6. Disregard their
opinion?
• You can choose to completely disregard their
opinions but it is not an easy thing to do.
• And in some cases, until you have their
approval, you won’t be able to go on with
your plans.

7. Disregard their
opinion?
• So it is wiser to gain them to your cause or at
the least to lower their resistance to it.
• Your loved ones have the potential to offer
you great support in your endeavor.

8. For that, you need to communicate in their
values why you want to change. You should do
so in three steps.

9. 1. Listen
• First of all, listen to what they have to say.
• Don’t try to argument.
• Be attentive to how you feel (angry, frustrated,
exasperated,..) and make an effort to not
react. Just make a mental note “I’m angry
right now” and keep on listening.

10. 1. Listen
•Often our loved ones get frustrated because
they don’t feel they had a chance to be heard,
and they will hassle you until you seat down and
listen to what they have to say.

11. 1. Listen
•By allowing them to express their concerns,
you will show them that you respect them and
that you do care about their opinions. That can
be enough to have them trust you and trust your
decisions.

12. 2. Acknowledge your
own worries
• When we try to convince others of a decision
we want to make, we tend to solely focus on
the benefits to be gained.
• That can worries others because they may
think that we are naïve and overly optimistic.

13. 2. Acknowledge your
own worries
• So at this point, it is useful to share your
worries
• Tell them about all the concerns you do have
regarding the change you would like to make.

14. 2. Acknowledge your
own worries
• Then, tell them that as you are aware of
potential challenges you still feel and think that
you want to do it.

15. 3. Ask for their support
• It can go something like this: “I now
understand that you are worried by ……, and
that you don’t want me to jump into something
that I may regret. I know that you care about
and I appreciate that. Like I just told you, I’m
aware that there would be challenges but I still
feel strongly that I want to proceed with my
decision. If you can support me in this
endeavor it’ll make it easier. I’m excited about
my decision and I want you to part of it!”

16. In Conclusion
• By going through these three steps you will
often be able to reassure your loved ones
about your decision.
• It is not about manipulating them into doing
so. It is about having a sincere discussion
structured in a way where you can efficiently
communicate how serious you are about your
choice.

17. decision-making-howto.com
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