3. Develop a Personal Voice when Writing VOICE shows your personality when writing. The writing has a sound different from everyone else's. It has feeling and emotion so that it does not sound boring. The reader should be able to tell if you are happy or sad. The writer should be writing from the heart and bring the topic to life for the reader. One day my mom took me to the circus. I LOVE the circus. There are always some very funny clowns. My favorite clown there came up to me and told me he had a secret for me. He got real close to me and I thought he was going to whisper in my ear when POW he squirted me in the face with his water flower. I never laughed so much. I had a great time at the circus and will remember it for the rest of my life. Funny
4. It was the day for the big test. I studied all week and knew I was ready. I was still a little bit nervous, but knew once I started I would be fine. The teacher asked us to get some books out to read when we were finished so we wouldn't bother the other kids if we finished early. The test was a breeze. When I was done I started to read my favorite book. Serious
5. Yesterday when I was on my way to the grocery store I saw a very strange man. He had on a brown trench coat, red hat and was carrying a purple umbrella. I'm sure he was some kind of investigator. As he began walking I noticed he was just peeking over the top of his coat and I could only see his eyes. He was very sneaky looking. I'm sure he was watching somebody, I just wonder who! Mysterious
6. As a baseball let me tell you I have some pretty frightening experiences. Imagine being hit by a hard bat. OUCH, I want to scream every time someone hits me. Then for the flight through the air. You can't believe how scary that is. I am always asking myself three questions. Will someone catch me? Will I fly over the fence and land with a hard thud? Or will I just go bouncing across the field? The next time you are frightened, stop a minute and think about how I feel. That is the true meaning of frightened! Frightening
7. Look at the picture below and reading the short paragraph. Choose the voice that you think is being used in each paragraph. Remember when writing with voice it can be: Funny, Serious, Mysterious, Frightening Have you ever seen two Martians in a play before? Well you should have been at the same show as I was. I never laughed so hard in my life. These two green creatures were trying to back to their land safely, but came across many strange people. They never saw humans before. They kept trying to act like us. Well, that is where the fun begins. You should go see the Martian's On Earth if you get a chance. It is your chance to sit back and laugh!
8. Halloween night was finally here. I was very excited to trick or treating with my friends. There is always one house that everyone is afraid to go to and this year we decided we would go. We slowly crept up the steps and tap lightly at the door hoping nobody would hear us and we could get out of there quickly. Before we could turn around there she was. There were bats flying around her head, a frog in one hand, a broom in the other hand and a black cat next to her leg. Before she could speak my friends and I let out a scream and ran all the way home. That is one house we will NEVER go to again.
9. The first day of school is always a tough one. You are always waiting to see who is in your class, what your teacher will be like and how your day will run. Usually everyone is very quiet trying to set a good example. We all get out our books, sit in our seats nice and tall and do everything the teacher says with very little noise. I bet this is the teachers favorite day of the year!
10. I will never forget my 5th birthday. My mom surprised me with a clown to entertain my friends and I. This clown was very funny and had many tricks up his sleeve. When his show was over he made everyone at my party a balloon animal. This was a great day for me!
11. Exercise: You and your friends were playing a ball game outside on the top quad. You know that you are not allowed to kick balls on the quad. When the ball was passed to you, you kicked it back. The ball didn’t go where you wanted it and you broke Mrs. Jones’ office window. Describe what happened to Mrs Jones, using a serouis voice, and then in a funny voice described to your friends what happened.
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13. First - Person Point of View I walked home from school today with my friends. We stopped for ice cream. I had vanilla. It's my favorite. When I got up this morning I brushed my teeth. Then I got dressed and ate my breakfast. Third - Person Point of View Ted plays on a baseball team. He loves to play with his team. He has a game next week. His coach thinks he's a good baseball player. The princess was locked in the tower. She had no way to escape. She hoped that a prince would rescue her . Her wish came true. He came and took her to his castle.
14. Read each group of sentences. Decide if it is written in first person or third person point of view. The hunter had a cottage in the woods. He lived there all alone. I ride the bus to each every day. I like to sit with my friends. My friends and I went camping. I toasted marshmallows over the fire. Joey likes to go swimming. Sometimes he asks his friend Sam to go with him. He brings his ball to play with. Frosty the snowman had a hat on his head. He also had a pipe and a carrot nose. He held a shovel in his hand.
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17. Planning your Narrative Brainstorm your ideas. This does not need to take to long and can be added to.
18. Plan the path your writing will take. This plan is in a flow-chart form.
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20. Opening Paragraphs The opening paragraph of a narrative will often give us an introduction to the characters, the setting, or both and will often give us a hint about the plot. Another name for this is orientation . You orientate your readers, give them an idea, right from the start, that your text is going to be worth reading.
21. Opening Sentences The Opening Sentence To write an opening sentence which will grab the reader’s attention. Stories can start using the following ways: Dialogue: “Hands in the air this is a stick up!” he hollered roughly. A statement: The school principal had to collect the boy from the roof. Problem: David didn’t know what to do: the school bully, Ted was expecting him to hand over five doallars and all he had was fifty cents. Action: Without a moments hesitation, Maude Drinkwater lifted the revolver and fired. Description of people: Mr Sherman looked ordinary for someone who had just solved one of the world’s most difficult maths problems. Description of place: The sky was the colour of dish water. Description of time: As the clock struct twelve it echoed around the hall.
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27. Exercise 4: Opening Paragraphs Choose a title and opening sentence from the list below. Use the sentence beginnings to write an opening paragraph which will orientate a reader into your narrative.
28. Plot A plot starts with an introduction to the narrative. A plot will include problems or crises and how these are solved, and the conclusion to the narrative. If it is a good plot, there will be situayions which happen throughout the narrative thaat will make you want to read on. What happens in a novel has been carefully planned by the author. Some authors use a flow chart to plan their work. Others might write a brief overview of events noting each crisis, climax or problem and how each will be resolved.
29. Improve your Plot Who are your story’s main characters? What are their main needs?(motives) Who or what tries to stop or thwart them from achieving their needs? (conflict) Do the characters succeed or fail in achieving their goals? How do they succeed or fail? (resolution)
30. Exercise 1: Plot Development The folowing extract from The Keeper is an example of a crisis in a plot.
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32. This is how the plot of The Keeper might look in graph form. The plot may have many parts to it. It may have subplots within the main plot. Whether the plot is action-packed or slow and leisurely, a good plot will keep the reader interested. A crisis is a turning-point, a moment of danger or suspense. A climax is the highest point in a series of events. There is often a build-up to a big climax near the end of the narrative.
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34. Characterisation A person’s appearance, their posture and ways of walking, their hobbies, the way in which they express their emotions, their secret wishes, fears, prejudices and religious beliefs are all pointers to their character. We develop character through the following: Dialogue what the characters say and how the say it Action what the characters do Reactions how the characters think and feel in different situations Relationships how the character interact with each other, and how others view them Crisis a turning point in the story for the character; the way in which the characters respond in a crisis revaels true character
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36. Characters Narrative Characters may be people of animals. Although they are imaginary, the author may have modelled their character on people they know. A reader can usually identify with characters, either through a character’s personality, actions or experiences, or physical appearance. Characters in a book may be built up over several chapters with the reader getting an impression of their personality through actions, reactions and relationships to other characters.
43. Things to think about These settings all paint a picture for the reader. Think carefully about which style of scene setting appeals to you. Do you prefer to be given a clear description? Do you prefer imagery where the writer’s use of words lets you use your imagination? Do you prefer a character in the text to help establish the mood of the setting by talking about it?
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48. Smooth Transitions One way an author can get the reader’s attention is by using pharases that we call “red flags.” red flags, such as all of a sudden or the next thing I knew , indicate a new twist in the plot. Red flags can replace predictiable words and phrases, like next and then. Read the sample sentences below. Create your own “Red Flag Menu” by filling in the blanks. Suddenly I manage to escape from the monster. Just then I manage to escape from the monster. I manage to escape from the monster. I manage to escape from the monster. I manage to escape from the monster. I manage to escape from the monster. I manage to escape from the monster. I manage to escape from the monster.
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52. Improve Your Dialogue What is Dialogue? It's the conversation that takes place between characters in a story. You can tell more about your characters' thoughts and feelings if you include dialogue in your stories.
53. Let's add some dialogue to that story. Sharing a room with her sister wasn't always fun. Kristi was tired of always having to clean up their room. "Ashley, you've left your clothes on the floor again! I'm not picking them up for you this time," said Kristi. "I'm sorry, Kristi, I don't mean to be a slob!" joked Ashley. "I just don't notice the mess--really! I guess it just doesn't bother me.“ "Well, it bothers me! You know it does," said Kristi. "I'll try harder, I guess," sighed Ashley. "But I can't promise anything. Neatness just isn't my thing!" Let's look at a story without dialogue. Sharing a room with her sister wasn't always fun. Kristi was tired of always cleaning up after her sister Ashley. Just because they shared a room, that doesn't mean they had to share the mess! Ashley was always leaving dirty dishes on her desk, and there were always dirty clothes under the bed. Kristi had tried to talk to Ashley about cleaning up the mess, but somehow talking didn't help.
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55. Read the following story: Paul and his dad were planning their first fishing trip of the year. Paul wasn't sure what to bring with him, so he asked his dad. His dad told him to bring his pole. His dad would bring everything else. His dad also told him to dress warmly because it's always cold in the morning near the lake. Paul told his dad he was excited about going and would have trouble sleeping. Rewrite the story adding dialogue.
56. Here's a sample of what your story might look like. Notice the quotation marks and commas. Check your story to make sure you have the correct punctuation. Paul and his dad were planning their first fishing trip of the year. "What should I pack, Dad?" said Paul. "I don't want to forget anything." "Just bring your pole, Paul. I've got everything else we'll need already in the car," said Dad. "Mom's already packed us a big lunch. We want to get an early start!" "Should I bring a sweatshirt?" questioned Paul. "Oh, it's always cool in the morning near the lake. You'll need more than a sweatshirt. You need to make sure you dress warm." Paul headed up to bed. "I don't think I'll be able to sleep, Dad. I'm too excited!"
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58. METAPHORS A metaphor is like a simile. That's because it is a comparison that is made between things, which is not always likely or obvious. We don’t use ‘like’ or ‘as’ in a metaphor. We often use metaphors without realising it. For instance, when we say that your parents 'bark a command ' at you, you are comparing them to a dog, and hence engaging in metaphor! Other Metaphors A heart of stone He has the heart of a lion You are the sun in my sky You are the light in my life She is my East and my West, my compass. You had better pull your socks up Love is a lemon - either bitter of sweet
59. Create Metaphors Try to write three metaphors for each of the following examples: the sun an apple clouds cheese a cat the ocean fog anger LEARNING INTENTION: to understand that a metaphor is a word picture in which the writer replaces the thing to be described with another image. It makes a more direct and vivid comparison to a simile. Examples: The moon is a pearl from a necklace. The moon is a cold, cheesy pizza. The moon is earth’s halo
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62. IMPACT Show Don’t Tell To write what is happening in the story without explicitly stating it. Telling sentence: Joe was old. Showing sentence: Joe creacked when he moved, his arthritic limbs bowed beneath the weight of his eighty years Below are some telling sentences which simply state facts. Transform them into showing sentences: 1. It was cold on the beach. 2. Dad was angry. 3. My friend is a great rugby player. 4. The house needed repairs. 5. The car braked suddenly.
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65. Focus on the Facts We can add on sufficient information to help the reader understand better. Example A boat came to the island. What kind of boat was it? Who was aboard the boat? What were the feelings of the passengers about reching the island? When did the boat arrive? What was the purpose of the visit? Read the following sentences. What questions would you ask the writer to ensure that all the essential information was given. 1. I don’t like school. 2. My aunt is in hospital. 3. We like going out for dinner. Select one of these sentences. Rewrite them with sufficient information.
66. Replace Overworked Words For my birthday I got lots of presents. It was a lovely day. We got off the train at Wellington. My sister got fifty dollars a week. In the war, lots of men got injured. Feeling annoyed, the teacher went out of the room. We had a nice holiday in Dunedin where we met many nice people. LEARNING INTENTION: To think of as many different ways as you can to express the same idea. Example: Mary is a good person. Mary is a lovely person. Mary is a wonderful person. Mary is a superb person. Mary is a delightful person.
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68. Using a Thesaurus A thesaurus extend your word power. declared exclaimed questioned replied repeated bellowed shouted responded whispered asked Don't Say "Said," Say
Editor's Notes
Resources Used Ideas to Teach Deeper Feature in Writing, Di Skilton, Literacy Adviser, CCE Year 8 English, ESA Publications (NZ) Ltd, 2001 www.Studyzone.org