How to Influence Without Power or Authority
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Keynote for URI GSLIS Conference, 3/23/13
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How to Influence Without Power or Authority
- 1. Influence {when you have no power or authority} http://www.flickr.com/photos/tomas_sobek/4649690892/sizes/l/in/photostream
- 2. Influence {when you have no power or authority} Keynote by Peter Bromberg GSLIS Conference: Catapult Your Career Kingston, RI, March 23, 2013 http://www.flickr.com/photos/tomas_sobek/4649690892/sizes/l/in/photostream
- 3. I Believe that… We all exert influence We can make conscious choices that will increase our influence We can learn to make better choices more consciously and consistently http://www.flickr.com/photos/tomas_sobek/4649690892/sizes/l/in/photostream
- 4. Why Are We Here Today?
- 6. Here
- 7. Here
- 8. Here
- 9. Here
- 10. Here
- 11. Here
- 12. Why Are We Here Today? World population: 7,000,000,000 Ever Lived: 108,000,000,000
- 13. Why Are We Here Today?
- 14. the absolutely crazy historically unprecedented accelerating pace of Change or… Why your ability and willingness to influence is more important than ever.
- 15. Exponential Pace of Change 1.5 mill yrs lever, wedge 500,000 yrs control of fire 50,000 yrs bow & arrow 5,000 years wheel and axle; sail 500 years printing press with movable type; rifle 100 years automobiles 55 years satellites 31 years IBM Home Computer 27 years Windows / Mac 19 years World wide web 11-13 years iPod, Netflix, Tivo 6-8 years Ubiquitous Broadband, Blogging, Skype 5 years iPhone, Android, App Store, Geolocation < 5 years SMS/Smartphone ubiquity, Twitter, Facebook Tablets, iPads, Cloud < 2 years AMAZON-APPLE-GOOGLE-FACEBOOK
- 17. Permanent Whitewater http://www.flickr.com/photos/nukeit1/244167779/
- 18. Flat Organization - Agile - - Flexible - - Adaptable - - Innovative - - Responsive - Photo cc license 2.0 courtesy flickr user Chrissy Eliza http://www.flickr.com/photos/chrissyeliza/4142314898/sizes/l/in/photostream/
- 19. Here’s the thing
- 20. Emergent Leaders (AKA Influencers) - No formal authority - Motivate others - Initiate new ideas - Seek others’ opinions - Are passionate and involved (Emergent Leadership concept from Peter Northouse) Photo cc license 2.0 courtesy flickr user Ian’s Shutter Habit flickr.com/photos/9289838@N06/3387635009/sizes/z/in/photostream/
- 21. Influence or Leadership? “A piece of spaghetti or a military unit can only be led from the front end.” - General George Patton
- 23. Leadership is… The alignment of our energy and the energies of others towards the manifestation of a mutually enriching state.
- 24. Warren Bennis on Leadership Leadership is management of: Attention Self Meaning Trust (Hey… that sounds an awful lot like…)
- 25. Emotional Intelligence (EQ) Definition of EQ from Daniel Goleman • Self-awareness • Self-regulation • Social skill • Empathy • Self-Motivation
- 26. It’s Not About Being Nice Image: CC by 2.0 http://www.flickr.com/photos/dirigentens/4592361218/sizes/l/in/photostream
- 27. When we avoid difficult conversations we trade short term discomfort CC by 2.0 http://www.flickr.com/photos/jimwall/5129679770/sizes/z/in/photostream/ for long term dysfunction
- 29. Effective Communication • Appeal to Shared Values • Separate Observations from Meaning • Question your Assumptions • Move from Certainty Curiosity • Move from Blame Contribution • Separate Intentions from Impact • Connect your Emotions to your Needs • Make Direct Requests
- 30. Emotional Intelligence is rooted in self-awareness and empathy • Self-awareness • Self-regulation • Social skill • Empathy • Self-Motivation
- 31. Practice Leads to Habit
- 32. Practice Leads to Habit • Reflection • Mindfulness Meditation • Journaling • Coaching
- 35. Coaching Awarness and Action 1. What do you want? 2. What have you tried? 3. What was the result? 4. What else can you do? 5. What WILL you do? Modified from Steve and Jill Morris’ Leadership Simple
- 36. Coaching Awarness and Action 1. What do you want? 2. What have you tried? 3. What was the result? Accountability 4. What else can you do? 5. What WILL you do? Modified from Steve and Jill Morris’ Leadership Simple
- 37. a ctic e Better Mood r P r n… ula ts I (FYI… Mood Matters) Reg esul R
- 38. a ctic r P r n… e More Trust ula ts I Reg esul R Trust is the conduit for influence; it’s the medium through which ideas travel. If they don’t trust you, your ideas are just dead in the water. Having the best idea is worth nothing if people don’t trust you." - Amy Cuddy
- 40. “My job is to awaken possibility in other people” -Benjamin Zander http://www.flickr.com/photos/radiorover/2787677403/
- 41. Peter Bromberg Thank you! peterbromberg.com | peterbromberg@gmail.com http://www.flickr.com/photos/vernhart/1574355240/ (CC BY-NC-SA 2.0)
- 42. Deleted Scenes
- 43. What assumptions are you making that no longer serve you?
- 44. Effective Communication = Influence Cc by 2.0 http://Stockmonkeys.com
- 45. e a ctic A Change in Perspective r P r n… ula ts I Reg esul R http://justinmaier.com/2006/05/09/amazing-3d-art-by-julian-bever/
- 46. e a ctic r P r n… (which is worth 80 IQ Points) ula ts I Reg esul R http://justinmaier.com/2006/05/09/amazing-3d-art-by-julian-bever/
- 47. Play the Long Game http://justinmaier.com/2006/05/09/amazing-3d-art-by-julian-bever/
Editor's Notes
- Image http://www.flickr.com/photos/tomas_sobek/4649690892/sizes/l/in/photostream/, courtesy of flickr user tomas_sobek
- Good Morning everyone. Thank you for inviting me to join you at GSLIS for today’s conference. It’s a pleasure to be here with you. This morning we’re going to spend some time discussing influence. What it is, and how we can be influential, even in situations where we have no official power or position – no formal authority To begin, I’d like to share with you three things that I believe, based on the experiences I’ve had and what I’ve observed Image http://www.flickr.com/photos/tomas_sobek/4649690892/sizes/l/in/photostream/, courtesy of flickr user tomas_sobek
- I believe: We all exert influence. Right? We’re influencing all the time . It might be consciously directed, or it might not be consciously directed, but it is easy enough to observe that we are in a continual dance of influence with each other . We affect each other through our words, actions, facial expressions, body language, etc. The choices we make determine the quality and degree of influence. We can make better choices that will increase our influence. We can LEARN to make better choices Consciously Consistently Learning to make better choices requires increased awareness and a practice of reflection. Before we jump in to discuss these topics, I’d like to spend just a little bit of time creating some context. Putting a frame around the discussion. Image http://www.flickr.com/photos/tomas_sobek/4649690892/sizes/l/in/photostream/, courtesy of flickr user tomas_sobek
- I’d lke to ask, why are we here today?
- URI
- Earth
- Rhode Island
- Earth
- 3 rd planet from the sun
- Milky Way
- Universe
- Of the 107 billion people who have ever lived, we get to interact with a few hundred , maybe a few thousand. Look around you. Look to your left and right. Think about the people you work with, and the customers you serve. These are the people you get to spend time with These are the people whose lives you most directly impact through your choices and behaviors.
- So I will ask again: Why are we here today? Because Life is short Our time together is precious I want to use my time here to make a difference I want to be awake and fully present Enrich my life and the lives of those around me. I, like you, choose to do that through library service. [seque to from “enriching our lives and the lives of others” to talking about change
- I’ve already mentioned that I believe that we each exert influence. I also believe that given the absolutely crazy historically unprecedented, accelerating pace of change your ability and willingness to consciously exert influence is more important than ever. There has been a fundamental shift in reality due to the rapid pace of change. There has never been a time in human history where there has been so much disruptive change in so short a time— and in fact the pace of change continues to accelerate. Why is this important? Because, in a nutshell, it is increasingly true that “What got us here won’t get us there.” Reality is fundamentally changing, and that requires some fundamental changes in the choices we need to make to be effective. Let’s look a little bit more at what’s happening with the pace of change.
- Here is a chart that illustrates the pace of change– specifically change brought about by disruptive technologies You can see that the amount of time between disruptive technologies and major shifts that they bring about has continually compacted. (quickly review) This means that great grandfather’s life was virtually indistinguishable from his father’s life. They both lived in a make shift house , with a dirt floor, a wood burning oven, and no plumbing. The first 13 years of my grandfather’s life were the same as his fathers In 1921 he left Russia for America and the next 80 years of his life saw: Automobiles, Indoor plumbing, Telephones, Heart surgery, Air travel, Satellites in orbit Space travel a moon landing, Television, Microwaves, Portable radios and tape players In other words, my grandfather saw more significant change in his life than his ancestors saw in the 500 years previous. To contrast, my 15 year old nephew has never known a world without: Internet, 156 HD channels, Invisible braces, DVDs, Cell phones, Text Messaging Note: even this has changed in 3 years. Now he knows streaming/on demand, smartphones, social apps) The pace of change– the introduction of “disruptive technologies” continue to happen at an exponential pace… Think about how Facebook, smartphones, and netflix/hulu, skype and google hangout have impacted. Think about coursera and skillshare are changing education. How kickstarter, Kiva, and indigogo might affect ec [click] Looking at the chart: What we see is that for long periods of time, nothing happened. Then something happened, that had a major ramifications. That led to major changes. And then for another long period of time nothing happened. In Change Management, this was referred to as [CLICK] (Unfreeze Change,Re-freeze model)
- Up until recently, there was an accepted model of how change happens in society and organizations: The Unfreeze, Change, Refreeze model , This model suggests that: Our structures, our organizations , and therefore our experiences remain fairly stable (or frozen) for long periods of time Some fundamental change occurs, and for a period of time, things unfreeze. We all get used to the change, it’s ramifications play out, and we settle into the new normal. We refreeze. This model makes sense when we apply it historically, but over the last 100 years, the periods between each change have gotten smaller and smaller, to the point where it seems we don’t even get to the refreeze point. With regard to change we are now more in a state of continual fluidity . What does it feel like when we are in “unfreeze” mode? [click]
- We are now in what Peter Vaill and other change mgmt experts call: Permanent whitewater. Whitewater suggests a number of things: It suggests a fast-pace ; It suggests that the situation changes by the second It suggests that we need to vigilant, aware and responsive moment by moment It also suggests that we can have a general sense of shape of the river—the direction of current — Maybe know where the really big rocks are . We can’t control the ride, but we can influence it . So, what can we do to be successful in this new reality? [CLICK]
- We can flatten our organizations. Why? Simple: Because flatter organizations – organizations with less hierarchy and bureaucracy– are better positioned to succeed in a climate of rapid change? What are the characteristics of a flattened org? Agile Flexible Adaptable Innovative Responsive [click]
- Here’s the Thing… Flatter organizations require different type of employee Flatter organizations require different type of employee… That’s where you come in…
- Emergent Leaders: (Peter Northouse) No formal authority Motivate others Initiate new ideas Seek others’ opinions Are passionate and involved To sum: For libraries to thrive in a world where disruptive technology requires us to develop a new playbook every other week, we need flatten our organizations. To be successful, flat, nimble organizations, need a employees who are empowered, and willing to consciously embrace their role as influencers But the skills that correlate with being effective inluencers are not natural, nor are they taught or developed in our most of our schools. Therefore, we need to develop ourselves and others to be better at influencing. Photo cc license 2.0 courtesy flickr user aussiegal http://www.flickr.com/photos/aussiegall/7196082472/sizes/l/in/photostream/
- Influence or Leadership? I’d like to speak for a minute on why I think it’s more helpful, in general, to be talking about influence as opposed to leadership Aren’t they synonymous? Is this just semantical hair-splitting? Maybe… But I prefer to speak with you about influence because I think the idea of Leadership or “Being a Leader” carries a lot of cultural baggage We tend to think of leaders as: Older, Male, Experienced, Having positional power, militaristic, commanding, uncompromising. In my experience, most people do not see themselves as leaders, and I think these cultural biases’ and associations with leadership make it hard for people to see themselves as “leaders” And that’s another thing… When we talk about leadership, we are often talking about “leaders” as if being a leader was a trait – like having brown eyes or blonde hair . Being a leader is presented as a dualistic, on/off, either/or proposition. Either you are or you aren’t. Influence on the other hand… Is about choices that we make in the moment. There is less cultural baggage around the word, and it’s used more as a verb, than as a noun.
- Influence is something we do, not something we are. It’s situational. It’s about the choices we make moment by moment that either move things in the direction of a desired goal or not. If not, we can choose again. There is less cultural baggage around the word, and it’s used more as a verb, than as a noun. Influence is something we do , not something we are. Influence is situational. It’s about the choices we make moment by moment that either move things in the direction of a desired goal or not. If not, we can choose again. To that extent, Influence is a more accessible concept. It invites us to have a conversation about our goals, and reflect on the choices that we make. I have found that speaking about influence rather than leadership helps people to connect with their own power. It’s simple to reflect on our choices and our behavior and see that indeed we are influencing all of the time. So it becomes a question of How consciously are we influencing How resourceful are we. And coaching is largely about expanding our state of resourcefulness . Like having more colors in the palette to paint with.
- Leadership is: The alignment of our energy and the energies of others towards the manifestation of a mutually enriching state. (-Peter Bromberg) And the only distinction I make here is that we can influence for good or ill. But I define leadership as being in the service of a mutually enriching reality.
- There is of course a great deal of literature on leadership, and there are many definitions of leadership. I’d like Warren Bennis’ definition because it’s very much focused on our selves and our choices. Bennis says that leadership is management of Attention Meaning Trust Self I like this definition because it is rooted in Emotional intelligence, which has been shown to correlate highly with one’s ability to effectively influence.
- Like leadership, there are a variety of definitions of Emotional Intelligence, but I think Daniel Goleman’s is a great one. Goleman suggest that emotional intelligence consists of these five competencies : Self-awareness the ability to know one's emotions, strengths, weaknesses, drives, values and goals and recognize their impact on others. The value of personality assessments (MBTI, DISC, Enneagram) Self-regulation The ability to control or redirect disruptive impulses and moods, and the propensity to suspend judgment and to think before acting. Hallmarks include: trustworthiness and integrity comfort with ambiguity openness to change. Social skill Proficiency in cultivating relationships and building networks, and an ability to find common ground and build rapport. Empathy considering other people's feelings especially when making decisions Self-Motivation - A passion to work for internal reasons that go beyond external rewards such as money and status. Having a vision of what is important in life , a joy in doing something, curiosity in learning, a flow that comes with being immersed in an activity. An ability to pursue goals with energy and persistence. One Hallmark is an ability to maintain optimism even during times of difficulty.
- “ Learning to manage emotions is not ‘soft stuff’. Being highly attuned to emotions, developing awareness, and the ability to effectively direct your energy, does not always mean being “nice”. It does mean being honest and direct. It does mean having a low tolerance for cynicism and passivity (especially passive aggressiveness), and learning how to hold others accountable for problematic behaviors, in a way that is compassionate and also developmental – challenging and inspiring them to play a bigger game . I fear sometimes members of our profession, and our organizational cultures, put too much value on being “nice” An overemphasis on “nice” can result in a lack of direct communication and honest feedback and dialogue. We don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings so we won’t tell them that their behavior or performance is problematic. So we avoid difficult conversations because we are “nice”, and also perhaps because we fear that the interaction will be uncomfortable. Image: CC by 2.0 http://www.flickr.com/photos/dirigentens/4592361218/sizes/l/in/photostream/
- When we choose not to hold others accountable we are choosing to trade short term discomfort for long term dysfunction. Simply learning how to compassionately but directly hold others accountable can make you exponentially more effective. Effectively exerting influence is so much about how we choose to communicate. In fact, the brilliant Peter Block suggests, “All transformation is linguistic” Image credit: CC by 2.0 http://www.flickr.com/photos/jimwall/5129679770/sizes/z/in/photostream/
- So much influence is about how we communicate. Effective Communication is not an innate skill. We all tend to make some basic cognitive errors when we communicate. The more stressful the situation, the more prone we are as fight/flight kicks in. So… when the stakes are highest we are least likely to communicate effectively. We can learn to communicate more effectively. Appeal to shared values Separate observations (what you perceive) from the meaning you give it Question your assumptions. Move from certainty to curiosity Move from blame to contribution (systemic thinking) Blame judges and looks backward Contribution is joint, interactive, and seeks to learn how to design a new way of doing things that works for all parties. It is creative and generative. Separate intentions from impact We tend to assume intentions or quality of character from impact We let ourselves off the hook for same (“by that wasn’t my intention”) Connect our own emotions to our unmet needs as opposed to “what they did” Make Requests
- Practical suggestions for communicating effectively. Appeal to shared values Separate observations (what you perceive) from the meaning you give it Question your assumptions. Move from certainty to curiosity Move from blame to contribution Blame judges and looks backward Contribution is joint, interactive, and seeks to learn how to design a new way of doing things that works for all parties. It is creative and generative. Separate intentions from impact We tend to ascribe intentions or quality of character based on the impact of someone else’s behavior. But, at the same time we cite our pure intentions to let ourselves off the hook when our behavior has a negative impact on another. ( we say, “by that wasn’t my intention” as if that excuses our action) Connect our own emotions to our unmet needs as opposed to “what they did” Make Direct Requests
- There is great overlap between the elements of EQ and the ability to communicate effectively because Communicating effectively is rooted in self-awareness and empathy. It is about connecting clearly to your observations, needs, and feelings While being empathetic and curious about what others are observing, needing and feeling. There is also a good deal of research that shows 2 important things: EQ highly correlates with the ability to influence and lead and, EQ can be actively developed through a few simple practices.
- Fundamentally, EQ, is about developing new habits of thought which lead to a broader palette of choices, or what we call in coaching, a greater state of resourcefulness . When we consciously develop new habits of thought, we emerge from our trance states, and make more conscious choices about where and how we focus our attention . This literally creates new neural pathways in the brain. That’s why, the more often you think a certain way, or a certain thought, the easier it is to think that way again. This is about growing our awareness, and developing the skill of being more aware more often . This skill can be developed by anyone through Practice I highly recommend these two books Executive EQ by Robert Cooper Becoming a Resonant Leader (many helpful interactive exercises)
- This skill can be developed by anyone through Practice Self-Reflection Mindfulness Meditation Journaling Coaching
- Search Inside Yourself There is so much value in engaging in these practices, that Google has developed a Leadership program focused on mindfulness meditation as a way to develop EQ. The program, “Search Inside Yourself” was developed by Chade-Meng Tan (aka Meng, aka “Google’s Jolly Good Fellow” Now… Meng is an enginee He, and the engineers at Google are highly practical peopl They are rooted in science and focused on observable results So you they would not be devoting resources to this if it was just a bunch of touchy feely new age hooey. (note you can buy the SIY book, or do the program/videos free online)
- This goes beyond google: General Mills, Target, Apple, Nike, Procter and Gamble and building mediation rooms and teaching mindfulness. William George, A professor at Harvard Bus School and a former CEO of Medtronic (a medical device Comp.), said , that mindfulness will make you more effective as a leader. You will make better decisions. Two benefits of developing a practice of mindfulness are Happiness and Optimism. Both of which also correlate highly with influence and effective leadership…
- Following a simple coaching model is an effective way to gain clarity and get into action (adapted from “Leadership Simple”) The assumption in coaching: You are Creative and Resourceful Goal: To increase your state of resourcefulness A basic model What do you want? What have you tried? What was the result? What else can you do? What WILL you do? This is a form of what’s called: Double-loop learning . We question every aspect of our approach, including methods, biases and beliefs. We challenge our assumptions and summon the courage to take action , which continually yields new experiences and insights, allowing us to develop more effective and nuanced ways of thinking and acting in service of our goals and higher principles. The magic ingredient:
- The magic ingredient is accountability… In coaching, here’s how accountability works: You tell someone else what you’re going to do, and then ask them to follow up with you at a specific time to ask, “tell me what you did.” Simple! But highly effective. When we get specific about what we are going to do and when, and we know that someone will follow up with us about it, we tend to get into action… You don’t need to hire a professional coach – although if you’re feeling a stuck a little coaching can quickly get you unstuck – but you can experience great results by simply agreeing to a coaching relationship with anyone who is willing to check in with you non-judgmentally, and ask, “ so what did you do? And what happened when you did? And what did you learn from that? What will you do next?” In Short: Developing a regular practice will increase your awareness, lead to better choices and increase your influence and effectiveness. And remember mindfulness in particular will make you happier. And there is a lot of research that strongly suggests that Mood Matters
- Some of you may have seen Shaun Achor’s Ted Talk, or read his book “The happiness advantage”. Achor presents research that shows that when our brain is in a happy state we perform significantly better than if we are in a negative, neutral or stressed state. When we’re happy, our intelligence rises, Our creativity rises, Our energy levels rise. In fact, Achor reports that research finds that every single business outcome improves when we are happy. We 31 percent more productive than your brain at negative, neutral or stressed. There is other research that shows how a happy person can raise the “group IQ” of a team or organization. That’s because not only are we more creative when we’re happy, but happiness is contagious. [rubber band example]
- In my experience, when we begin to practice building awareness and making more conscious choices, we also tend to become more curious about the motivations and behaviors of others. And when we become curious about others, we communicate to them that we seek to understand them. We show interest in sharing our perspective, but also learning theirs and instead of blaming, or feeling the victim, we start to invite others to work with us and jointly diagnose problems and design solutions Others will feel valued and respected, and in turn reward us with respect and trust. And as Amy Cuddy says in her wonderful Ted Talk… “ Trust is the conduit for influence; it’s the medium through which ideas travel.”
- In closing, I’d like to leave you with a challenge: And it is:
- To take a moment every day and remember that in addition to all of the tasks, all the job duties, or homework, and papers, all of the meetings and spreadsheets, all of the desk schedules, all of the data management, collections, and facilities issues, all of the emails and phone calls… Remember that at the end of the day, what we are fundamentally about as librarians, as influencers is this: [Ben Zander quote] Think about that. And give thought to what YOU want to happen in your life, in your community, in your library, in your school, in your profession. Make time to get clear on what you want to see happen and then start making some choices and taking actions -- and encouraging your staff to do the same. Actions that move you in the direction of your preferred future. The world needs libraries, now more than ever, and those libraries need YOU. They need your best self. So I challenge you to be 100% present, to own your power and not look to someone else to take the reins, lay out the vision, push for change, or challenge the process. To show up with courage and curiosity, and to invest time every day, every week, in developing yourself and your capabilities, and being conscious in your attempts to exert positive influence. It falls to you. It falls to each of us. When we shift the way in which we conduct ourselves, we change the world. In this way we take responsibility for our piece of it. Our piece may be small, but it need not be insignificant. Remember Margaret Mead said, “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. With that, let me thank you for choosing to be part of our noble profession. Thank you for the great work you do, and for your passion and commitment to libraries. It has been an honor to speak with you. [image courtesy: http://www.flickr.com/photos/radiorover/2787677403/]
- So much influence is about how we communicate. Effective Communication is not an innate skill. We all tend to make some basic cognitive errors when we communicate. The more stressful the situation, the more prone we are as fight/flight kicks in. So… We can learn to communicate more effectively. Appeal to shared values based on difficult conversations Question your assumptions : (from certainty to curiosity) Move from blame to contribution Blame judges and looks backward Contribution is joint, interactive, and seeks to learn how to design a new way of doing things that works for all parties. It is creative and generative. Separate intentions from impact We tend to assume intentions or quality of character from impact We let ourselves off the hook for same (“by that wasn’t my intention”)
- Quote attributed to Alan Kay