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Conflict Resolution

Center for Peace Education
Miriam College
What is conflict?
 From the Latin word

conflictus which
means striking together with force

 Occurs when one’s actions or beliefs

is unacceptable to—and hence
resisted by the other (Forsyth, 1990)
Center for Peace Education
Miriam College
WAYS TO DEAL
WITH CONFLICT

Center for Peace Education
Miriam College
AVOIDANCE (FLIGHT)
 We MOVE AWAY or withdraw from

the situation of conflict
 We allow the other party to get
away with his/her behavior.
 We hope that the conflict will, in,
itself, disappear.
 We believe that it is hopeless to try
to resolve the conflict
 WIN-LOSE
Center for Peace Education
Miriam College
AGGRESSION (FIGHT)
We MOVE AGAINST the
opponent or try to overpower
adversary/force him/her to
yield.
 We want to do things our way
 We view winning as an
indication of strength and
losing as an indication of
weakness
 WIN-LOSE or LOSE-LOSE


Center for Peace Education
Miriam College
PROBLEM-SOLVING
(FACE)
 We MOVE TOWARDS the

adversary
 We dialogue/negotiate for a
mutually beneficial solution.
 We show our desire to get
out of the mess by
collaborating in finding
constructive ways to solve
the conflict.
 WIN-WIN
Center for Peace Education
Miriam College
ACCOMMODATION
(GIVE UP)
 We give up our goals to maintain

“harmony” in the relationship
 We give in because we realized that the
other person is right.
 We concede because we have very little
chance of winning.
Center for Peace Education
Miriam College
COMPROMISE
(GIVE HALF)
 We find the middle

ground.
 We give up part of our
goals because we
and our adversary
cannot get what we
want.
Center for Peace Education
Miriam College
When I am angry,
I usually…

Center for Peace Education
Miriam College
What is Anger?


It is a strong emotion of displeasure that may
take the form of verbal or physical attack, rage
or animosity.

Center for Peace Education
Miriam College
The Anger Thermometer
In some ways anger is like a
thermometer.
It has degrees, from cool to
very hot.
The higher you go on the
Anger Thermometer,
the angrier you are!
Try to cool off and bring
yourself down the Anger
Thermometer.
Center for Peace Education
Miriam College

Enraged

Furious

Angry

Irritated

Annoyed
When can anger be destructive?





When we express it in a way that will create harm,
hatred or alienation.
When we repress it. It can make us sick. It may
displace our feeling. It may hinder us from solving
the cause of our problem.
When we can no longer function normally.

Center for Peace Education
Miriam College
Anger Management
 How do we COPE with our anger?

Recognize that you are angry.
 Express anger in indirect ways:


• Shout, cry, hit a pillow.
• Write in a journal.
• Draw, paint.
• Engage in vigorous physical activities (run,
jog, swim)
• Physically relax the body (deep breathing,
muscle relaxing)


Calm your mind:
•
•
•





Talk to yourself.
Count to 10 for adrenaline level to go down.
Change cognitions vs. labeling, overgeneralization,
mental filtering, jumping to conclusions.

Talk to a friend.
Change environment.
Forgive. It lowers blood pressure and eases
muscle tension.

Center for Peace Education
Miriam College
How do we directly express
our anger?
 Describe the behavior that angers you.
 Describe how you feel about the behavior.
 Describe the reason for your feeling.

Center for Peace Education
Miriam College
How do we deal with
other peoples’ anger?







Allow expression. Listen.
Do not respond with the same anger.
Help him/her calm down. Try to stand in his/her
shoe.
Paraphrase/clarify.
Explain your situation.
Look into options together.

If you can’t deal with the other person’s wrath, ask
for help.
DIALOGUING TIPS

Center for Peace Education
Miriam College
1. Be specific.
Avoid using global words.

Center for Peace Education
Miriam College
2.
Speak in a gentle,
non-threatening manner.

Center for Peace Education
Miriam College
3. Avoid
using
words that
would elicit
anger.
Center for Peace Education
Miriam College
4.

Use the I-message

Center for Peace Education
Miriam College
5. Admit your
own
responsibility
to the
conflict.
Center for Peace Education
Miriam College

I admit I lied…but
twice lang naman.
6.
The person and
his/her action are two
different things. Thus, be
tough on the problem,
not on the person.
Center for Peace Education
Miriam College
7.
Be willing to tell the
other person what is
good about her/him.

Center for Peace Education
Miriam College
8. Listen. Show the other
person that you are
hearing his/her point of
view.
Center for Peace Education
Miriam College
9. Show positive
regard and respect.

Center for Peace Education
Miriam College
10. Listen with empathy.
Try to stand in the shoe of
the other.

Center for Peace Education
Miriam College
11. Be open to
criticism of your
ideas and behavior.

Center for Peace Education
Miriam College
12. Paraphrase and
clarify when needed.

Center for Peace Education
Miriam College
13. Distinguish between
your demands and true
interests.

Center for Peace Education
Miriam College
Thank you very much and
may peace be with you all!
For all the world
by: Sandi Patti

Never was the world
in such a need of peace
And never has contentment
been so hard to find
So many men reaching out their hands
Our brothers and sisters in so many lands
If ever kindness was needed
Then it’s crying out to us “the time is now!”
Chorus:

I want the peace
I want the love
For all the world
People of joy with children hope
For all the world
Father of light
I’ll be a light the You shine through
You are the peace
You are the hope
For all the world
What’s it gonna take
before we show some charity?
Compassion and mercy,
the way it’s meant to be
Who’ll take the time
for the ones
who truly need
And pray for a nation
That’s out on the street
What man is greater than his brother
When in Jesus’ eyes we’re all
the same?
Learn a song of freedom
And teach it to our children
Let the pipes of peace ring out
And pray the grace of God
will lead the way
You are the peace
And You are the joy
You are the love
And You are the hope
For all the world

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Conflict resolution by the Miriam College Center for Peace Education

  • 1. Conflict Resolution Center for Peace Education Miriam College
  • 2. What is conflict?  From the Latin word conflictus which means striking together with force  Occurs when one’s actions or beliefs is unacceptable to—and hence resisted by the other (Forsyth, 1990) Center for Peace Education Miriam College
  • 3. WAYS TO DEAL WITH CONFLICT Center for Peace Education Miriam College
  • 4. AVOIDANCE (FLIGHT)  We MOVE AWAY or withdraw from the situation of conflict  We allow the other party to get away with his/her behavior.  We hope that the conflict will, in, itself, disappear.  We believe that it is hopeless to try to resolve the conflict  WIN-LOSE Center for Peace Education Miriam College
  • 5. AGGRESSION (FIGHT) We MOVE AGAINST the opponent or try to overpower adversary/force him/her to yield.  We want to do things our way  We view winning as an indication of strength and losing as an indication of weakness  WIN-LOSE or LOSE-LOSE  Center for Peace Education Miriam College
  • 6. PROBLEM-SOLVING (FACE)  We MOVE TOWARDS the adversary  We dialogue/negotiate for a mutually beneficial solution.  We show our desire to get out of the mess by collaborating in finding constructive ways to solve the conflict.  WIN-WIN Center for Peace Education Miriam College
  • 7. ACCOMMODATION (GIVE UP)  We give up our goals to maintain “harmony” in the relationship  We give in because we realized that the other person is right.  We concede because we have very little chance of winning. Center for Peace Education Miriam College
  • 8. COMPROMISE (GIVE HALF)  We find the middle ground.  We give up part of our goals because we and our adversary cannot get what we want. Center for Peace Education Miriam College
  • 9. When I am angry, I usually… Center for Peace Education Miriam College
  • 10. What is Anger?  It is a strong emotion of displeasure that may take the form of verbal or physical attack, rage or animosity. Center for Peace Education Miriam College
  • 11. The Anger Thermometer In some ways anger is like a thermometer. It has degrees, from cool to very hot. The higher you go on the Anger Thermometer, the angrier you are! Try to cool off and bring yourself down the Anger Thermometer. Center for Peace Education Miriam College Enraged Furious Angry Irritated Annoyed
  • 12. When can anger be destructive?    When we express it in a way that will create harm, hatred or alienation. When we repress it. It can make us sick. It may displace our feeling. It may hinder us from solving the cause of our problem. When we can no longer function normally. Center for Peace Education Miriam College
  • 13. Anger Management  How do we COPE with our anger? Recognize that you are angry.  Express anger in indirect ways:  • Shout, cry, hit a pillow. • Write in a journal. • Draw, paint. • Engage in vigorous physical activities (run, jog, swim) • Physically relax the body (deep breathing, muscle relaxing)
  • 14.  Calm your mind: • • •    Talk to yourself. Count to 10 for adrenaline level to go down. Change cognitions vs. labeling, overgeneralization, mental filtering, jumping to conclusions. Talk to a friend. Change environment. Forgive. It lowers blood pressure and eases muscle tension. Center for Peace Education Miriam College
  • 15. How do we directly express our anger?  Describe the behavior that angers you.  Describe how you feel about the behavior.  Describe the reason for your feeling. Center for Peace Education Miriam College
  • 16. How do we deal with other peoples’ anger?       Allow expression. Listen. Do not respond with the same anger. Help him/her calm down. Try to stand in his/her shoe. Paraphrase/clarify. Explain your situation. Look into options together. If you can’t deal with the other person’s wrath, ask for help.
  • 17. DIALOGUING TIPS Center for Peace Education Miriam College
  • 18. 1. Be specific. Avoid using global words. Center for Peace Education Miriam College
  • 19. 2. Speak in a gentle, non-threatening manner. Center for Peace Education Miriam College
  • 20. 3. Avoid using words that would elicit anger. Center for Peace Education Miriam College
  • 21. 4. Use the I-message Center for Peace Education Miriam College
  • 22. 5. Admit your own responsibility to the conflict. Center for Peace Education Miriam College I admit I lied…but twice lang naman.
  • 23. 6. The person and his/her action are two different things. Thus, be tough on the problem, not on the person. Center for Peace Education Miriam College
  • 24. 7. Be willing to tell the other person what is good about her/him. Center for Peace Education Miriam College
  • 25. 8. Listen. Show the other person that you are hearing his/her point of view. Center for Peace Education Miriam College
  • 26. 9. Show positive regard and respect. Center for Peace Education Miriam College
  • 27. 10. Listen with empathy. Try to stand in the shoe of the other. Center for Peace Education Miriam College
  • 28. 11. Be open to criticism of your ideas and behavior. Center for Peace Education Miriam College
  • 29. 12. Paraphrase and clarify when needed. Center for Peace Education Miriam College
  • 30. 13. Distinguish between your demands and true interests. Center for Peace Education Miriam College
  • 31. Thank you very much and may peace be with you all!
  • 32. For all the world by: Sandi Patti Never was the world in such a need of peace And never has contentment been so hard to find So many men reaching out their hands Our brothers and sisters in so many lands If ever kindness was needed Then it’s crying out to us “the time is now!”
  • 33. Chorus: I want the peace I want the love For all the world People of joy with children hope For all the world Father of light I’ll be a light the You shine through You are the peace You are the hope For all the world
  • 34. What’s it gonna take before we show some charity? Compassion and mercy, the way it’s meant to be Who’ll take the time for the ones who truly need And pray for a nation That’s out on the street What man is greater than his brother When in Jesus’ eyes we’re all the same?
  • 35. Learn a song of freedom And teach it to our children Let the pipes of peace ring out And pray the grace of God will lead the way
  • 36. You are the peace And You are the joy You are the love And You are the hope For all the world