'Twas the Night before Funding, by Mario Tapia. A parody on Twas the night before Christmas with a little flavor of Silicon Valley Venture Capitalists.

1. Text
’Twas the Night before Funding
by: Mario Tapia

2. Twas the Night before Funding
Twas the night before Funding, when all thro' the Bay
Not a VC was stirring, not even Ron Conway
The term sheets were hung buy the chimney with care,
In hopes that Andreesen and Horowitz soon would be
there,

3. Twas the Night before Funding
The founders were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of engineers danced in their heads.
And devs at their laptops reviewing the stack,
Had just settled their brains for a long night hack.

4. Twas the Night before Funding
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like SAAS,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

5. Twas the Night before Funding
The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow,
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below;
When, what to my wondering eyes should not
makeup,
But miniature Keirestu, and eight tiny startups,

6. Twas the Night before Funding
With a little old investor, so lively and gay,
I knew in a moment it must be Ron Conway.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and call'd them by
name:

7. Twas the Night before Funding
"Now! Flipboard, now! Foursquare, now!
Twilio, and Twitter,
"On! Facebook, on! SnapChat, on! Kiip and
Flixster;
"To the top of the accelerator! to the top of the
wall!
"Now dash away! dash away! Exit! away all!"

8. Twas the Night before Funding
Just as the butterflies before a live demo day,
the team flew across the sky, coming our way
So up to RocketSpace the founders they flew,
With the sleigh full of Bank Notes - and
Conway too

9. Twas the Night before Funding
And then in a twinkling, I heard the voices of
Venturebeat.
The prancing and pawing of each little feet.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney Conway came with a bound:

10. Twas the Night before Funding
He was dress'd all in schwag, from his head to
his foot,
And his clothes were all labeled with logos
and soot;
A bundle of Pitches were flung on his back,
And he look'd like an investor just opening his
pack:

11. Twas the Night before Funding
His eyes - how they twinkled! His stature was
short and Merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a
Cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the Hair of his head was as white as the
snow;

12. Twas the Night before Funding
The stump of a Cigar he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a
wreath.
He had a broad face, and a little round belly
That shook when he laugh'd, like a bowl full of
jelly:

13. Twas the Night before Funding
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old
angel,
And I laugh'd when I saw him in spite of my
able;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

14. Twas the Night before Funding
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his
work,
And signed all the term sheets; then turn'd
with a jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his nose
And giving a nod, off he went with Kevin Rose

15. Twas the Night before Funding
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew, like the down of a thistle:
But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sightHappy Funding to all, and if you drink too much
take an Uber…alright?

16. Twas the Night before Funding
Merry Christmas!!!
From MobileMonday