this is my alcohol-fueled tirade from Defcon 23, the 'comedy inception panel'.

1. 100 115 batshit stupid things
you can put on the internet
in as fast as I can go,
someone get me a drink.
With your host:
Viss

2. About me
Co-Founder, Chief Technologist - Carbon Dynamics!
!
9 years in infosec, 19 total in technology!
!
I do security/internet research!
!
Sometimes it makes the news!
!
I shout on the internet a lot.!
!
!
How to stalk me!
@viss on twitter!
daniel@carbondynamics.co

3. QUESTION:
!
!
If there can be a thing, and you can put
a webserver on the thing..
!
!
Should you put a webserver on the thing?

4. TOTES MCGOATS!

5. @viss’s 2014 Twitter Rampage
Pirate Ninja Baby Cabana Battle 9001

6. TV STATION!
(maybe?)

7. SOMETHING GERMAN!

8. WINDOWS CE!

9. ASTERISK ON LINUX!

10. KOREAN POWER
GENERATION!

11. A BORING MAC!

12. Waiiiiit….

13. Chinese host with private
keys!

14. DENTISTRY LAB!

15. SOMEONE CODING PYTHON!

16. OH MY GOD MY EYES!

17. A HOST IN A COLLEGE
SOMEWHERE!

18. SCADA SELFIE!

19. ANOTHER HOST IN THE
SAME COLLEGE!

20. SOME KIND OF HTTP LOAD
TESTER!

21. SOLAR SYSTEM!

22. A GRAIN SILO!

23. MATLAB TRACKING
SPORTSBALL!

24. A DESSERT SHOP IN
SYDNEY!

25. A PLACE YOU BUY SQUID!

26. A REGISTER SELLING
SOMEONE AVOCADOS WITH
FOOD STAMPS!

27. SOMEONES HOME
AUTOMATION SYSTEM!

28. A CARWASH!

29. OIL TANKS!

30. ELECTRICAL SUBSTATION!

31. FRIENDLIEST SCADA!

32. … SOMETHING!

33. A COAL MINE!

34. POTATO TECHNOLOGY!

35. ITALIAN HYDROELECTRIC!

36. 6760.430 MHw! o/

37. A CONFERENCE ROOM!

38. A LOBBY SIGN!

39. A HAM RADIO DSTAR RASPI

40. ANOTHER OFFICE SIGN!

41. AS IF JENKINS WASNT BAD
ENOUGH BY ITSELF

42. BOAT TRACKING!

43. DAY TRADING!

44. SOLAR POWER!

45. MORE LOBBY SIGNS!

46. TONS OF CAMERAS!

47. SOMEONE ON REDDIT!

48. A GERMAN GENERATOR!

49. SPRINKLERS!

50. JAPANESE HAM RADIO
CHAT

51. TRAVIS’ DESKTOP!

52. SOME INDIAN DUDE
SHOPPING!

53. UMC OIL CELLARS!

54. A FUCKING
HOSPITAL BED!

55. A FUCKING (demo)
HOSPITAL BED!

56. TRACEVUE: legit 16 people.

57. SOLAR POWER COLLECTOR

58. ANOTHER BORING MAC!

59. oh wait..
Same attacker! o/

61. MOAR CAMERAS!

62. APPLE TV + XBMC!

63. ISRALEI PHARMACY!

64. AGUA PARA FLUSHING!

65. NET COFFEE! o/

66. OBVIOUSLY
LOS POLLOS HERMANOS!

67. SOMETHING SOMETING
$300,000!

68. ITALIAN … SOMETHING!

69. SPANISH MINECRAFT
+
SKYPE!

70. PHILS OFFICE!

71. ENDERS GAME!

72. ITALIAN HYDROELECTRIC!

73. MORE SPRINKLERS!

74. MOAR HOTEL LOBBIES!

75. VOLTAGE SENSOR!

76. A CIRCUIT BOARD PRINTER

77. SHELLBOXES FROM
WHICH TO LAUNCH HAX

78. A SPANISH COPIER!

79. FUCKING DOS 6.22

80. WTF IS WRONG HERE?!
MY HAX JUST DONT WORK!

81. A MASSIVE CERAMIC
PRINTER

82. APROPOS MAC
SCREENSAVER

83. TREND CATCHING A SKID
IN CHINA

84. KOREAN POWER
GENERATION

85. GODDAMMIT, HOTELS.

86. MOAR BLIND SKID DERP

87. WGET WGET WGET
CIRROS CUBSWIN

88. GERMAN RESEVOIR

89. REGULAR ORDINARY
SWEDISH MEAL TIME
It’s good for you

90. DAYTRADERS!

91. … SOMETHING!

92. SYSLOG VIA VNC!

93. I HAVE NO GODDAMN IDEA!

94. HOT… PARLOR… WASH
(??!?!)

95. WAIT.
!
!
Who here thinks BSD is the most
secure OS in the world?
!
!
SHOW OF HANDS

96. FREEBSD SINGLE USER
BOOT OPTION
PUBLIC VNC NO AUTH!

97. What about now?

98. DAIRY MILK PLANT!

99. USER GENIEUX ELITE31337x!

100. A TV STATION (I think..)

101. BRAZILIAN TV STATION

102. A ATM.

103. A HYDROGEN FUEL CELL

104. THE MARIO BROTHERS
WORST NIGHTMARE

105. GIANT LIEBERT
DATACENTER UPSES

106. ALMOST THE ENTIRE
CITY OF DOWNTOWN
COPENHAGEN, DENMARK

107. ....
EVENT CENTERS
icerink defrost go!

108. ANDROID PHONES
USED AS CAMERAS

109. FUCKING SHADY COPS
TRACKING YOU

110. FRENCH HYDRO #1

111. FRENCH HYDRO #2

112. FRENCH HYDRO #3

113. FRENCH …
electric switching/distro?

114. CAR WASHES

115. GODDAMN SPEAKERS

116. A FRIDGE FOR
*JUST* CHAMPAGNE

117. PRACTICALLY ALL OF CERN

118. WANNA MINE COIN?

119. SHOUT AT SKIERS

120. HAYMANS FISHERIES,
OXFORD.

121. FUCKING LOBSTERS

122. YOU CAN CONTROL
LOBSTER TEMPERATURE
OVER THE INTERNET

123. SWIMMING POOLS

124. WHAT IN ALL OF THE FUCKS

125. CONSIDER THE FOLLOWING

126. STOP PUTTING SHIT
ON THE INTERNET

127. Or for fucks sake, Give
it 10 seconds of
thought before you do.!

128. o/!