jokes about rivalry between husband and wife. Time for a laugh

1. Jokes – Husband vs Wife
Brought to you by
http://voteleh.com

2. In a divorce court
A woman requested the judge: "Your honor, I
want to divorce my husband."
"But why ?" asked
the judge. She replied, "Because he is not
faithful to me."
The judge asked,
"How do you know ?" She replied, "My lord,
not a single child resembles him."

3. From his death bed
The husband called his wife and said, "One
month after I die I want you to marry
Samy."
"Samy! But he is your enemy !"
"Yes, I know that ! I've suffered all these years so
let him suffer now."

4. At the cocktail party
One woman said to another, "Aren't you
wearing your wedding ring on the wrong
finger? "
The other replied,
"Yes I am, I married the wrong man."

5. " Dad, I was away for a week. Yesterday I sent a
fax to my wife I'd be home that night, and
when I got into my room I found my wife i! n
another man's arms.
" Why, Dad ? Tell me why!"
Dad kept silent for a few minutes, then coolly
said, "Maybe, Son, she didn't get the fax."

6. • A husband visited a marriage counselor and
said, "When we were first married, I would
come home from the office, my wife would
bring my slippers and our cute little dog would
run around barking.
Now after ten years it's all different, I come
home, the dog brings the slippers and my wife
runs around barking."
"Why complain?“ said the counselor. "You're
still getting the same service!"

7. One woman told another : "My neighbour is
always speaking ill of her husband, but look at
me, my husband is foolish, lazy and a coward;
but have I ever said anything bad about him?"

8. A wife, one evening, drew her husband's
attention to the couple next door and said,
"Do you see that couple? How devoted they
are? He kisses her every time they meet. Why
don't you do that? "
"I would love to."
Replied the husband. "But I don't know her
well enough."

9. A man was telling his friends, "When my wife is
infuriated, she starts shouting at me, my
children and even at our dogs and nobody
dares answer her."
One of his friends asked."And when you are
angry, what do you do?" The man replied, "I
also shout angrily at the windows and doors of
the house and none of them dares to
answer back.”

10. A woman was complaining to the neighbour
that her husband always came home late, no
matter how she tried to stop him.
"Take my advice,“ said the neighbour, "and do
what I did. Once my husband came home at
three o'clock in the morning, and from my bed
I called out: "Is that you, Jim?" And that cured
him.
"Cured him !" asked the woman, "but how?"
The neighbour said, "You see, his name is
Bill."

11. "You looked troubled," I told my friend, "what's
your problem?"
He replied, "I'm going to be a father."
"But that's wonderful," I said.
"What's wonderful? My wife doesn't know
about it yet.

12. Jokes – Husband vs Wife
Brought to you by
http://voteleh.com